


How Many Robins Does it Take?

by TheSecretsLie



Series: Holy Baby Batman! [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Babies, Baby, Babysitting, Brotherhood, Family, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 14:49:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17266163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSecretsLie/pseuds/TheSecretsLie
Summary: For all intents and purposes, Tim was an excellent choice for the job.  So, when his older brother asked him to watch his darling newborn niece he gladly accepted, fully convinced he was up for the task. Now several hours into the gig, Tim begged the question; Exactly how many Robins would it take to watch a baby?





	How Many Robins Does it Take?

For all intents and purposes, Tim was an excellent choice for the job. He was intelligent, resourceful, and driven. He also didn’t have the kill streak most of his siblings did, that was a plus. So, when his older brother asked him to watch his darling newborn niece he gladly accepted, fully convinced he was up for the task. Now several hours into the gig, Tim begged the question; Exactly how many Robins would it take to watch a baby?

            Tim’s first tell that things weren’t going well should have been when he realized Mary did not stick to the schedule Dick had given him. “A bottle every two hours,” he said, “She’ll mostly sleep,” he said. Well, Tim called bullshit. Mary was wailing and refused the bottle that she was due for so what was Tim supposed to do? He was the worlds second greatest detective, he should be able to figure how what this 3-week-old baby wants. The little girl was not wet, was significantly clothed so she couldn’t be cold, and would not eat. What else could she need?

            “Mary it'd be fucking great if you could just tell me what you want,” Tim sighed, continuing to bounce the unhappy baby. If he had to call Dick, he’d never live it down. All at once something occurred to him. He didn’t have to call Dick, but he could phone a friend. Well, not a friend per se, but someone he knew to be at least somewhat capable at baby rearing.

            “ _Yello_?”

            “Hey, Jason. I uh, I may have an issue,” Tim said while desperately still rocking a crying Mary.

            “ _How’s that my problem? And what is that yelling_?”

            “Um, It’s Mary crying. That’s actually what I called to ask you about,” Tim paused to look down at Mary who was now rubbing her tiny fists on her face while angrily screaming,

“Much as I hate to admit it, I’m out of my depth here, Jay, but I can’t let Dick know that I can’t handle this!” Tim heard a loud and exaggerated sigh through the phone and silently fist pumped.

‘ _Fine, I’ll be there soon, you’re at Dick’s place, right_?’

“Yeah, I’ll see you soon,”

 

            The second Jason knocked on the door, Tim was rushing to let him in.

            “Oh, thank god, Jason, she won’t stop crying!” Jason would have openly laughed at Tim’s distress, but he was too concerned with picking up the wailing baby. Tim shut the door as Jason cradled the little girl on his shoulder.

            “When did you feed her?” he asked, beginning to shuffle gently around the room.

            “She was supposed to eat an hour and a half ago, but she wouldn’t take the bottle, now she hasn’t eaten and missed her nap time and she won’t. stop. crying,” Tim recounted, his desperation noticeable.

            “Okay well first mistake, never miss a bottle time,” Jason explained as he entered the kitchen, “Show me the bottle you tried to give her.” Tim, now resigned to his failure, acquiesced and pulled the still full bottle of milk from the fridge. Jason switched his hold on Mary, freeing up his other hand to take the bottle and examine it.

            “Is this formula?” Jason asked, receiving a nod.

            “Okay, and how did you heat it up?”

Tim’s face dropped, “Um I didn’t?”

Jason deadpanned, putting down the bottle, “You gave her cold milk?” Tim scratched sheepishly at the back of his neck, Jason sighed and abruptly handed Mary back to Tim. The little girl had cried so long that she looked exhausted, only hiccupping with her face wrenched into a frown, and Tim felt awful. While Jason prepared a new bottle correctly, Tim rocked Mary, less frustrated and guiltier now. Once it was ready and warm, Jason took her back and it only took a second of rubbing the bottle nipple against her chin for her to begin greedily sucking on it, her face now much more contented. Tim let out a breath in relief, watching Mary eat. Jason smirked at Tim,

            “Its okay kid, I won’t tell big brother.” Tim let out something short of a chuckle and ran a hand through his hair.

            “Thanks,” Tim took the opportunity of silence to examine Mary’s less reddened face, noting that she had what looked like claw marks on her cheeks.

            “Oh god, what happened to her face!” Dick was going to kill him. No, Wally would strangle him, and THEN Dick would finish the job.

            “She probably did it with her nails Timmy, calm down. I’m sure Dick’s got some mittens for her somewhere.”

            It took a couple of minutes for Tim to calm down and go and find the ‘mittens’ Jason was talking about. Apparently, they weren’t actual mittens and Tim couldn’t understand _why_ , but that was beside the point. Now that he’d found a pair that didn’t have little owls printed on them, “No Tim, just no,” and placed them on the drowsy baby, they had a different problem.

            “Why won’t she leave them on?” Tim asked, staring into the little bassinet with concern. Jason rolled his eyes and put away the book he’d been reading, standing and leading Tim away from the baby.

            “Look Tim, she’s not going to sleep if you keep messing with her, and since I agreed to stay until she’s asleep you are impeding the rest of my evening.”

            Tim leaned against the doorway to the kitchen and glared at Jason,

            “What you got a hot date?”

            “Yes, with Jane Austen and a pint of vodka.” A cry split the air and Jason groaned when Tim rushed back to Mary’s crib side.

            “Seriously Jason she’s scratching her face really bad. Should we like, tape the mittens on?” Jason sauntered into Mary’s nursery while Tim tried to keep the little girl from scratching her face more. Jason returned with a pair of tiny nail clippers and pushed Tim out of the way,

            “We’ll just cut the problem off at the source.”

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

            Damian had been enjoying a calm night in, for once, when he was disrupted. His phones ring prompted Titus to lift his head off of Damian’s lap in question. The boy sighed and placed his pencil and pad down before groaning at the caller ID on his screen.

            “Drake, what do you want?”

            “WE BROKE MARY HELP.”

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

      When Dick and Wally returned to their apartment, they were expecting to find Tim relaxing and Mary sleeping. What they were not expecting, was to find all three of his brothers passed out on his floor and couch, surrounding the bassinet where Mary was sleeping. The apartment was a mess, clothing strewn everywhere and spit up on various pieces of furniture. Wally raised an eyebrow at the nail clippers sitting on the counter as he collected the multitude of bottles and tossed them in the sink.

            “Oh,” Dick shouldn’t have been laughing, but once he saw the complete bandage mitten on his daughters’ tiny hands, he couldn’t help the chuckle that bubbled up. Wally caught the noise and made his way through the sea of snoring boys on the ground and saw the makeshift mits.

            “They tried to cut her nails I think, clippers on the counter,” Wally snickered a little himself, only able to laugh because he had made the same mistake that evidently happened tonight. Baby nails were super tiny, and babies moved a lot, as a result, he’d clipped the tip of her finger and nearly passed out when he saw that he had made his baby bleed.

            “Poor kid was not as prepared as he thought I guess,” Dick smiled at his younger brother’s face plastered to the floor. Wally gently picked up Mary, cradling her before taking her to her crib. Dick debated trying to move the small army that it had taken to watch Mary but decided to let them sleep. Instead, he draped blankets over Jason and Damian who were a tangle of limbs on the couch and stuck a pillow under Tim’s head. His shuffling woke the boy and Tim cracked his eyes open at Dick.

            “Next time, ask someone else.”


End file.
